The Dangers of Sugar
by color my world bright
Summary: Never, in her life, had Diana Ladris passed up a chance to embarrass Caine Soren, Sam Temple, or anyone else with some evil plan. And this was her perfect chance – even if it was tainted with sugar packets and off-key singing. One-shot!


**Okay, so I had way too much fun writing this one-shot. I spent half my time giggling as I wrote this…**

**It's my first "Gone" one-shot ever, so I hope it goes well. Keep in mind, I've only read "Gone" and the beginning of "Hunger" (I just started the series, and it's SO GOOD!), so excuse me if I don't get their characters down exactly right...**

**Diana's my favorite character, so of course it's centered around her. **

**The lyrics in this story (you'll get what I'm talking about soon enough) are written by Polymath78. She made a "Gone" version of the song "YMCA" (the story is called "GONE Musical Songs") and I included the lyrics in here…so all credit goes to her, not me, for the lyrics! They're really creative, actually…and if you haven't heard "YMCA" (which is highly unlikely, because it's pretty popular), go listen to it as you read this. You'll be able to see where the lyrics fit in.**

**Enjoy, and review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gone, or the lyrics, which belong to Polymath78.**

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><p>Diana Ladris leaned against the wall, her usual smirk present upon her features as she watched the scene unfold before her midnight-colored eyes. Her amusement grew as the time went on, and she flipped a long lock of dark hair out of her face and behind her shoulders. The arms that were crossed tightly against her torso began to loosen as she finally allowed herself to laugh, the sound spilling from her mouth like the ringing of high, elegant church bells.<p>

Maybe she shouldn't have spiked their drinks.

But then again, this was just so damn _entertaining_ to watch.

"_Young __man, __who's __name __happens __to __be __Sam, __I __said, __young __man, __can __shoot __green __fire __out __of __his __hands__…"_ Caine started on the first verse for the fifth time as the iPod Diana had plugged into the speakers started replaying the song again. Caine pointed at Sam as he continued to sing the words. "_I __said, __young __man, __you __know __you __will __poof! __When, __you, __are, __fifteen, __duh, __duh, __duh__…"_

Sam paused in his weird dancing to glare at Caine, ignoring the music that was still playing, "Hey. Dude!" The words were slightly slurred, but Diana could still make them out above the pounding music. "We're both already fifteen. I already beat the poof!"

Caine ignored Sam as he continued to belt out the words to their made-up, modified version of the song _YMCA_. Caine's dark eyes were a little crazed, and he nearly crashed into Diana, who was still leaning against the wall. She ducked out of the way just in time. "_Young man, whose name happens to be Sam, I said, young man, can't have a two minute romance! (Astrid)…__"_ Caine added with a devilish smirk at the end of the lyric, whispering Astrid's name just loud enough for Sam to hear.

Again, Sam protested, cutting into the beat of the music. "_Hey!_ Astrid and I are still going strong and – "

The rest of his words never came out of his mouth, as Sam had just crashed into an open cabinet and lay there, sprawled, on the ground for about five seconds before he'd popped back up with newfound energy. They just wouldn't say down, would they?

"_I said, young man, I guess there are upsides, to-o-o-o…__…" _Caine smacked two pots and pans together as they paused for a moment along with the background music, awaiting the chorus_ – _

"_It's fun to stay in the F-A-Y-Z! It's fun to stay at the F-A-Y-Z!__"_ Caine and Sam were really singing their hearts out now, bobbing their heads up and down as they practically screamed the chorus together. "_You can kill everyone, and bury them in the ground! You can set fire to buildings…__"_

Huh. Well, that was a cheerful lyric.

Diana felt like joining along for one tiny line, and her pitch-perfect voice provided a small relief from Caine and Sam's off-key ones. "_It's fun to stay in the F-A-Y-Z! It's fun to stay at the F-A-Y-Z!__"_ The words escaped from her mouth before she sealed her lips shut, and she settled for watching the two twins make complete _idiots_ of themselves for another twenty seconds or so.

"_You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal! You can do whatever you feel…"_

They were a couple seconds away from starting the second chorus when Diana spotted Astrid walking down the hall, calling out Sam's name, looking confused at the pounding music coming from the town hall's kitchen. "Sam?" the blonde asked. "Wait, Sam, where are you? And – "

She stopped at the door of the room Diana, Sam, and Caine were standing in, her mouth forming a perfectly round O as she took in the scene.

Instead of turning off the music, though, she crossed the room to stand next to Diana, her ice-blue eyes completely perplexed. "Diana? First of all, _what_ are you doing here? Don't we, uh, hate each other? Doesn't Caine want to kill Sam? And what are they…"

Astrid's words drifted to a stop as Sam started in on the second verse. Her eyes watched in disbelief as her boyfriend sang loudly, pointing at Caine as he did so, hopping back and forth randomly so that the words puffed out unevenly. "_Young man, look out here comes Caine, I said, young man, well that's one really cool name!__"_

"And are they singing to the tune of _YMCA_?" Astrid questioned while Sam was taking a deep breath, his eyes wide with adrenaline.

Diana snickered. "Yep, they are. To answer your questions…well, Caine wanted to try to work out a peace treaty between Sam and him, and we came down here without, surprisingly, initiating any violence. But – "

"_I said, young man, watch out he's four bars, and he can throw, you, against, walls, duh duh duh!"_

Caine grinned. "Heck yeah I can!"

"But," Diana struggled to continue over the music and Sam's horrible singing, "they started to get into a fight. So, I brought them some water after they asked for it, but…" Diana smiled evilly, nodding at the multiple bottles and packets that were lying, forgotten, on the kitchen counter.

Astrid's eyes grew as large as dinner plates as she took in the mess. "Don't tell me you – "

"Oh, but I did," Diana grinned. "I spiked their drinks with other things. That 'water' is half alcohol…and half pure sugar. They'll be bouncing off the walls for a while…oh, and if you listen to the lyrics, it's actually very creative. It's not _YMCA_ anymore, it's _FAYZ_." Diana smiled in mock-pride. "What do you know? Our boys _do_ have some creativity in their small heads."

Astrid crossed her arms. "You're telling me that you used this opportunity for a truce to taint their drinks with a mixture of sugar and alcohol so they would turn into intoxicated, slightly-drunken fools that are hopped-up on sugar and are belting out some horrid lyrics to a once-good song?"

_Does she have to sound so freaking smart all the time?_

"Or, you know, they're just _high_," Diana rolled her eyes, her eyes fixed on Caine as he started waving a small lighter back and forth in time to the song. "But yeah, basically. Relax, it's not that much alcohol, it's mainly sugar. Problem?" Diana raised a dark eyebrow, daring the blonde to say anything against her. "Here's your twisted up, Diana-Ladris-version of a truce. Take it or leave it. At least Caine isn't throwing Sam against walls and Sam isn't shooting fire back at him, right?"

Astrid paused for a long time, and Diana was expecting her to spout out some more scientific crap about how sugar was bad in your bloodstream or something.

But instead, Astrid just commented, "Clever."

Diana grinned at the teen standing opposite from her, newfound respect in her stare – maybe she wasn't such a goody-goody after all.

"_It's fun to stay in the F-A-Y-Z! It's fun to stay at the F-A-Y-Z! We have talking coyotes and of course mutant birds, you can hannnng outttttt with Astrid__…"_

Astrid looked touched at the last lyric, her usually hard, calculating, and cold blue eyes softening. "They put me in the song?"

Diana shrugged. "I guess."

"_So go man, do what you have to do, I said young man shoot what you have to shoot. And don't forget, this is the FAYZ, so the Darkness will be after you…"_

"Cheerful," Astrid remarked. "So, if I heard correctly from down the hall and outside the building, they talk about Sam shooting beams of light out of his hands, the poof, and Caine throwing people into walls? And this has been repeating for five times already?"

Diana nodded, her head jerking slightly. "Basically." Diana's lip curled in amusement. "You have to admit, this is funny."

Astrid bit her lip. "Okay, maybe it is."

It got even more humorous when Caine and Sam turned around at the same time and crashed into each other. They both crumpled to the ground before popping back up again, swaying unsteadily on their feet.

Astrid giggled, "Oh, okay, this is definitely blackmail material…"

"Maybe not blackmail, but I like how you're thinking." Diana appraised the blonde with an entirely new eye. Maybe this girl wasn't just halos and angels or whatever the crap symbolized innocence these days. "I mean, if you think of it from a different angle and just – "

"_It's fun to stay in the F-A-Y-Z! It's fun to stay at the F-A-Y-Z! We have it all here, mutants, killing, and fear! You can thank the Darkness…"_

Diana interrupted herself. "Harsh, but true, I guess," she thought out loud, referring to the latest lyrics. "We do have mutants, killing, and _way_ too much fear…and the Darkness isn't helping…"

Astrid shuddered.

The dancing from the boys became even weirder, as they were acting under two influences – the alcohol wanted to make their movements slower and more sloppy, while the sugar she'd spiked the drinks with called for a calorie burn-fest…it was an interesting combination.

So, basically, Caine and Sam were alternating between swaying back and forth drunkenly and running from wall to wall crazily like that stupid Energizer Bunny.

Oh, man, this was freaking _hilarious._

"_Young man, there's no need to feel down, young man, Caine will pick you right off the ground__…"_ Sam screeched at the top of his lungs.

"True," Diana nodded. "That's literal, right there."

"_F-A-Y-Z!__"_

"Not again," Astrid groaned, although her smile was growing larger by the second.

"_It's not like you can leave the F-A-Y-Z, young man, true I don't know how you feel. I said, young man to me this just can't be real."_

"Yeah, this can't be real," Astrid remarked with a half-smile on her face. "Because I can't believe they're actually doing this. I must be dreaming or something."

_"Young man, all I can say is, have fun in the F-A-Y-Z…F-A-Y-Z!"_

"I'm out of here," Diana sighed after a few more minutes of pure laughter. The song was coming to an end, anyway – Caine and Sam had burned the lyrics into her brain, and she wasn't sure she could stand anymore of their horrid singing.

Astrid looked shocked, "Why? This is so entertaining."

Diana smirked. "Why, to get more sugar and maybe a little bit more alcohol," she announced as she floated out of the room. "Gotta keep this going, right?"

As she left, she thought she could hear Astrid starting to hum the tune of _YMCA_ softly along with the guys' singing – or, the tune of _FAYZ_, as it was now going to be called by the townies and everyone from Coates Academy.

At least, it was going to be called that after Diana got the security tapes from the town hall's security office and showed the recording to everyone in the square.

Oh, Caine and Sam were totally going to kill her for this once they were sober.

But it was worth it.

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><p><strong>So I figure you're either going to want to kill me by the end of this one-shot or hug me.<strong>

**Remember, it was my first "Gone" one-shot, and I'm still trying to get used to writing all of them.**

**Let me just say that I don't think they were OOC, in my opinion. You can immediately excuse Caine and Sam's weird behavior as they're hopped up on sugar and kind of intoxicated from wine, and they're just kind of weird right now. Diana is plotting and making sarcastic comments as usual, and the only reason Astrid and Diana aren't fighting are because they're too distracted by the singing guys and also because Astrid knows that Diana and Caine came for a peace treaty…because when Astrid came in the room Diana didn't fight her, she just stayed at the wall.**

**Anyway, review! Even if you didn't like it, tell me what I could have done better!**

**~Ariana**


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